According to Gehrig

Time for some more Gehrig gems. I think I've laughed more in the past 3 months than ever before. How he comes up with some of this stuff, I'll never know. 

After Jason told him they could play a game once the kitchen was clean:

Gehrig: OK, Dad, but you better hustle!

{This one was told to me by my in-laws}

At a preschool party he kept lifting up his shirt to show his belly.

Grandma: Gehrig, why are you lifting your shirt up?

Gehrig: {Pointing to a girl in his class} Because she laughed, Grandma...

{Oh dear...}

Explaining what he learned at Sunday School:

Gehrig: Did you know that we live in a tree?

Me: Oh yeah? Hmm...

Gehrig: Yeah! We all live in God's family tree.

Doing down dog during a kids' yoga video:

Gehrig: Look, mom. I think I'm really getting the hang of this. {he was!}

While explaining to me that Santa rearranged our stockings on Christmas morning:

Gehrig: Mine was in the wrong spot. Milo's was in the wrong spot. Daddy's was in the wrong spot. And yours was in the wrong spot! {Shaking his head} Santa was just in over his head.

Find more laughs here.

According to Gehrig

While he cried about a scrape on his finger-
Me: "Drink your juice and maybe it will feel better."
Gehrig: "But the juice will go into my belly, not into my finger."

Gehrig: "Want to hear a song about applesauce?"
Me: "Yeah, let's hear it!"
.....long pause while he was clearly thinking very hard.....
Gehrig:"Just a minute. It's loading."

After coffee and donuts at church a few weeks ago-
"Christ said we could get donuts today!"
{I figured he considered this an answered prayer...}

During church last week, he pointed to the priest and whispered-
"Look, Mom. Theeerrre's Jesus Christ!"
{...so that cleared up any misconceptions about God talking to him about pastries.}

More here.

According to Gehrig

While being scolded for some particularly horrendous behavior at the dinner table-

"But, Mom, don't worry. Tomorrow I won't throw my placement. Otay?"

Out of nowhere-

Gehrig: "Mom, you should just go to PBS-dot-ord and do your essercizes."

Me: "Uh....ok?"

While playing with a toy baseball bat he got for Christmas 2012, but just found in a closet-

"Chet out my new, new, new, very new bat."

Every time I change him out of pajamas-

"But WHERE are we goin'??"

Every time I clean the house-

"Mom, who's comin' over?"

More of these gems here.

According to Gehrig

It's becoming evident to me that 3-year-olds {or going-on-3-year-olds} are some of the funniest human beings on the planet. Gehrig is constantly saying unexpected things that crack me up and, even though his stubbornly independent personality challenges me a lot, his ability to think for himself produces some real gems that I just had to share.

When Jason checked on him after bedtime, Gehrig reported what he was "dreaming" about-
"I dreamin' about baseball. And football. And Chuggington. I dream about a lot!"

Over the monitor from his room at 3am-
Gehrig: "MOOOMM, I need heeelp."
I stumble in, annoyed: "Help with what, Buddy?"
Gehrig: "Falling asleep."
{I melt}

While trying to speak in code to Jason-
Me: "It was on....Fix-it Manuel."
Gehrig: "No, mom, it's just Handy Manny!"

While Jason was putting him to bed the other night-
Gehrig: "Dad, can you keep me safe?"
Jason: "Safe from what, Buddy?"
Gehrig: "Mom."
Jason: "Haha. Are you being silly?"
Gehrig: "No. I not being silly. She really really scary."
{nice.}

Anytime we ask him to try new food-
"No thanks. I'm too little. I'm just a little boy."

And my favorite as of late-
"Apple juice goes all the way down to my belly and grows up into pee!"

Oh, and since I'm way behind the times, click the Bloglovin gadget to your left to follow me there. Thanks!