Halfway

So apparently I'm 20 weeks now, which is pretty cool. Full on into that blessed second trimester and feeling a little bit more human-like, despite the stomachaches that hit every few days and the exhaustion that just keeps hanging around. I told Jason last night that I was just going to complain about always being tired and then realized that this might just be my life now. So I really shouldn't even talk about it, right? Of course right.

I must confess that I'm sort of a silently-neurotic pregnant woman. I like to keep it cool and collected on the outside, but really I worry about every little twinge and ache that comes along. Luckily {for my midwife} I'm good at talking myself down from my "what if??" scenarios before rushing to the hospital. After going through this twice, I've come to accept that this is how pregnancy after miscarriage goes. I usually ride the high of hearing baby's heartbeat for a couple weeks after each appointment and then spend the remaining two weeks quietly panicking until my next appointment. My best advice for anyone else like this {or my future self}: stay away from Google.

Despite my sometimes-tormented mental state and constant exhaustion, things have been good on the pregnancy front. So far I feel less uncomfortable than I did with Milo, who sent me to physical therapy for hip pain that drove me to tears. Staying active and doing yoga helps, though I haven't been as great at this as I should be. I'd love to be able to commit fully to either regular pants that usually still fit in the morning but are a no-go by afternoon, or maternity pants that are still just a tad too big to stay up all day. Most clothes look sort of ridiculous on me, maternity or not, so I'll be happy to be out of the 'tweener stage.

This summer has been a wonderful mixture of slow and busy, with camping trips and beach days, a little work and a lot of play. My summer class ends next week already {!!!}, which is exciting, but also a bit disappointing since it means that fall is quickly approaching. I'm not ready to let go of my endless Saturdays yet. Somehow I always am once the time comes, but this year it might mean giving up my daily nap, so a bigger protest may be in order. Anyway, as my niece used to say, "I'm walking away from that talk." Here's to the last month of summer and the last 5 months of pregnancy!